When Our Feelings Become Our God

To set a clear foundation, let’s clear out a few things first. Let’s define “God” first. God is usually conceptualized as the ultimate, supreme being or universal force who possesses absolutely unlimited power, authority, and wisdom. and is generally thought to be the fountainhead of morality, More abstractly, "God" may refer to the very highest principle or truth governing life, the universe, and existence itself. Finally, God is also regarded as the source through whose teachings / spiritual scripts we derive moral values and ethical principles to help us develop conscience (the standard by which we judge right and wrong).

What It Means When Feelings Become Our “God” ?

Now That We Have The Definition Out of The Way, What It Means When Feelings Become Our “God” ? When feelings become our god, they take on a role that mirrors similar attributes of God in several significant ways, and we do not realize it.

Ultimate Authority: Feelings begin to dictate our decisions, priorities, and actions, thus becoming the preeminent authority in our lives. Understand this! It's not reason or principles or faith that guide our lives but rather how we feel about whatever is at hand. When we become overly identified with our feelings, we start to believe that how we feel in a given moment defines us entirely, often making us delusional and thus behaving differently.

Source of Morality: Emotions then become our benchmark of morality. If it feels 'right' or 'good' — and by that, I mean our personal, unchallenged estimation of what suits us at the moment — then naturally, we deem it morally correct, never minding the wider ethical considerations or the minor inconvenience of consequences for our other human beings. This can lead to subjective morality where personal sentiment overrules universal principles, and that means we can do whatever we want to, but that’s not the human way to live. Come on guys, we aren’t animals. Keep your ID and ego in check!

Primary Motivation and Purpose: So, our primary motivation in life becomes chasing those fleeting feelings like happiness, pleasure, or satisfaction. Because, of course, life is just about keeping our serotonergic and dopaminergic systems in tip-top shape, right? But let's pause for a moment — really, take a step back and ask yourself, is there anything in your life that isn’t just about the next dopamine hit? Would you actually do something selflessly, without expecting a warm, fuzzy feeling in return? Or is that just too much to ask in our feel-good-obsessed world? Anyway, coming to what I was saying — This can lead us to worship our emotions, seeking to fulfill them at all costs, sometimes neglecting other important aspects of life like family relationships, friendships, and responsibilities. We start to romanticize the idea that choosing ourselves over everyone else is the ultimate priority. But really, think about it. Doesn’t this just turn us into more primal, survival-driven beings rather than the social, connected creatures we’re supposed to be? Or maybe that’s just the next step in our evolution — trading empathy for endless self-indulgence. :)

Control Over Our Lives: If emotions become our god, then, of course, they get to run the show, dictating our actions, behaviours, and decisions. We’d be nothing more than puppets to our emotions, reacting to every little whim and fancy, even at the slight inconvenience, letting our feelings lead the way while reason and self-discipline take a back seat. And why not? When pride, superiority, or ego take the driver’s seat, they do such a great job of distorting our reality. We start making decisions not based on what’s right or good, but on whatever feeds our ego the most. Just like this, in the end, our feelings of self-importance become the true gods we worship — because what could possibly be more fulfilling than that?

When & Why Does This Happen?

Lack of Self-Awareness: Ah, self-awareness — the elusive, nearly mythical quality that seems to be about as common as finding a unicorn at a coffee shop. This should be the cornerstone of our emotional intelligence, right? Understanding our feelings, recognizing their impact on our thoughts and behaviours, and evaluating whether our emotional reactions are even remotely appropriate for any given situation should be a no-brainer. But alas, in our modern age, it seems like this fundamental practice has been replaced with the far more glamorous pursuit of instant emotional gratification.

Here's the twist: When people fail to believe in something greater than themselves — be it religion, a higher power, or even universal virtues that aren't subject to their daily whims — they tend to become self-absorbed little emotional reactors. They take their feelings way too seriously, treating them like gospel truth. In the absence of a guiding principle that transcends their own momentary satisfaction, their emotions become their ultimate authority.

This lack of a higher framework leaves individuals vulnerable to becoming overly sensitive at the slightest disruption to their dopamine and serotonin levels. When the happy hormones aren't flowing as expected, it’s like their entire world is falling apart. It's as if the only thing that matters is the immediate pleasure or discomfort they feel. In these moments, they forget that their feelings are just biochemical reactions, mechanisms of endocrinology, and NOT sacred truths. When those neurotransmitters don’t cooperate, every slight inconvenience becomes a monumental catastrophe. Lastly, in essence, they let their feelings dictate their reality, forgetting that a little self-awareness and a belief in something larger than their own fleeting sensations might help them navigate the chaos a lot better.

The trend of "Normalizing Every Fucking Thing": This trend of normalizing every fucking things, because some ultra-woke NPC on social media said so, many behaviours, attitudes, and emotions in society are aimed at greater acceptance and inclusivity, even if it might potentially be dysfunctional. This trend can also lead to unintended consequences. In the process of hurrying to normalize everything on emotional appeal, we also belittle the importance of discernment and critical thinking, law and order, actions and long-term consequences, and causal effects. Unless we think carefully, we might perpetuate behaviours which are emotionally satisfying or comforting for the moment but are harmful or counterproductive in the ultimate grand scheme.In a society that lacks self-reflectiveness and is prone to instant emotional reactions, the dangers of uncritically embracing norms based solely on feelings are profound. It’s almost as if we’re all collectively deciding that emotional spontaneity is the highest virtue, without bothering to consider the long-term consequences. Steve Jobs once waxed philosophical about how 'it’s only in hindsight that we see the dots connect'—which is hilarious because in our case, hindsight is showing us just how badly we fucked up by normalizing everything. Who would’ve thought that unlimited emotional indulgence might not be the best idea? Martians are smart, but for us humans, it turns out that disciplines, restrictions and limitations to stimulus aren’t just optional; they’re pretty much mandatory if we don’t want to keep fucking everything up.

Too Many Opinions Leading to Disparity, Clash, and Chaos: Oh, what a delightful mess we've created! Everyone today has a stage — whether it’s Instagram, X, Threads, Facebook, or whatever trendy new platform is popping up in San Francisco as I type this right now on my train from Zurich to Paris. The result? A never-ending parade of perspectives on every conceivable topic. Understand this — diversity of thought sounds great in theory, but in practice, it’s like trying to navigate a minefield with a blindfold. Drowning in a sea of conflicting opinions, we’re left bewildered and disoriented.

Also, my appreciation for self-aware individuals — they are like unicorns — they’re rare and somewhat mythical, but we need more and more unicorns, not woke NPCs. Most of us are blissfully ignorant of our own biases, leading to rigid, emotionally charged opinions that clash spectacularly with those of others. This charming scenario only polarizes society further, turning discussions into full-blown chaos. And just when you think it couldn’t get worse, we throw in the trend of 'normalizing' everything, which conveniently wipes out any common standards or reference points we might have had. So, here’s to celebrating our beautifully chaotic, opinion-saturated world — because who needs consensus or common values when you can have endless, contradictory noise? (:

What Can We Do? (Actionables)

Look, I want to clarify it beforehand, but I am no productivity guru or someone who has reached self-actualization. I still have hard time following these myself too but I have noticed that these worked for me, to help me evolve from a Charmander to a Charizard. Take it with a grain of salt as I am not here to argue, but I am just sharing my personal thoughts. leading to developing behaviours. :)

Developing Self-Awareness: Look, without self-awareness, we are at the mercy of our feelings. Start by developing this awareness first: All kinds of feelings are valid, even jealousy, envy, and hate but reacting to them is not valid. Aaaand you might ask — why though? Understand this — even though feelings are valid, and arise naturally, emotions are NOT always rational because they often arise from subconscious processes, instincts, or past experiences, experiences that haven’t been interpreted properly. According to Evolutionary Biology, emotions have evolved as survival mechanisms that help humans respond quickly to threats and opportunities. Now, in 2024, actions driven by these emotions will often escalate conflicts, create hostility, and cause lasting harm. This is why, while the emotions themselves are valid, the actions they might provoke are not.

Now that you have developed this awareness, next time onwards in a given instance, assess if the feeling is based on truth or insecurity, and what is it trying to tell you. This amazing guy named Victor Frankl wrote a beautiful piece “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” What it says is that: Instead of reacting, pause a moment. That pause creates space, enough, to reflect on how to respond. Practicing mindfulness, being fully present in the moment, and anchoring your breath consciously to the presence of the state, will help you to recognize those feelings or thoughts without acting upon them (and YES this needs to be constantly practiced, and also YES it takes time, just like working out muscles in the gym to see the gainz).

During the pause, ask yourself what it is that you're feeling: angry, scared, frustrated, happy, etc. (I suggest learning the emotional wheel by heart). When you label your emotions, you bring them into conscious awareness. This process transforms vague, overwhelming feelings into specific, identifiable states. And now that you understand their nature and origin, you are going to manage your responses better.

Lastly, reflect on your core values and principles: Is the course of action you are considering, or are about to take, in alignment with those values? Choosing a response that lives up to one’s principles is congruent to situations like this, so your activities will be just the way you want them to be.

Consider this: I often avoid arguments because, frankly, it only makes sense to engage in a debate with someone who is on a similar intellectual wavelength. Otherwise, it's just a waste of time. It's important to know your audience and discern who is worth having a meaningful discussion with, rather than getting pulled into an argument that goes nowhere. ALSO Keep in mind that as people age, and especially across longer gaps in different generations, their views on life can become somewhat rigid and uncompromising, because it’s built on their experiences of the world from their time. So, before you dive into trying to change someone’s mind, ask yourself: Is it really worth the effort? Has anyone ever truly shifted their deeply held beliefs after a heated argument, or are you just draining your energy on a lost cause?